For whatever reason, I expected birth to be... simple, perhaps. Everyone seemed to know when they were in labor, you go to the hospital, push for a few minutes, and you're rewarded with a clean babe.
For me, it was much like so...
I was due March 29, 2012... two days before my own birthday. It was quite selfish of me but I really did not want to share my day. Since the beginning of my third trimester, I'd been feeling cramps & funky pains here and there; just to learn I was severely dehydrated. Once I'd cranked up the fluid intake, I'd felt relatively normal... March 25th, 5:30 am I started to feel a different kind of pang... one going up your whole spine. I chalked it up to him just getting comfy since the stress test two days prior showed that he wanting nothing to do with re homing. I tried to sleep but it was useless so I opted to shower in hopes but still nothing. Took a few more tummy pictures just in case this really WAS the last chance...
I downloaded a contraction app, my pangs of annoyance were 15 minutes apart... around 9:30 am, there came the strongest one yet followed by a gush of water. That really threw me & I texted everyone I knew asking if it was possible to pee yourself during pregnancy. Looking back, I can't believe what a ding dong I was. Yet to my relief, the pains went away, I was able to take a nap on a towel, went to Subway for yums, then called my Mom who told me to call the nurse line. The nurse, of course, prompted me to go to the hospital ASAP. 4:30 pm, I was admitted, this crazy, demonic, awful nurse strolls in with some confetti looking paper to confirm if it was amniotic fluid. She told me in her harsh accent that it was & then jammed a q tip in to get absolute conformation. Then she proceeded to use my ribs as a brace & quite uncomfortably check the dilation of the cervix. Two. 40% effaced & he was still sitting as high as possible. This is where it all went completely different than I had envisioned.. I didn't want an IV for fluids, I could still drink fine but she told me I was not allowed to have water so this was my only choice. Next came the Pitocin, which I had heard & seen horrible things... didn't want it either but had no choice since my baby had Chuck Norris-d his water bag. I asked her questions about the Pitocin & she had straight lied & said it's not painful at all. HAA. Some where in there, I had a break down & I could not stop crying... it was a hot mess. Time after this was hazy, I kept looking at the clock & I was not progressing yet the contractions were right on top of each other... they kept the IV fluids flowing which induced absurd coldness & involuntary shaking. The worse part was having to go to the restroom... trying to maneuver the IV tree & the belly monitors. I remember counting the hours trying to get to 4 cm & laying in that bed whimpering & cursing that terrible lady for giving me that Pitocin. I had brought my quilt & pillows, the only real comfort I had. Finally I got the epidural, which I also did not want but nothing else was going as planned so why not!! That went wrong too, they had to do that 2 times & insert a catheter 4 times... I felt it all & it was less than an awesome moment. I got a second round of epidural juice & that numbed it all finally. Insert napping. Then I had to potty & the nurse said that it'd be fine but then the Dr. man came & said I was swelling my cervix & that might induce a c section. Since 24 hours had passed, I was started on antibiotics... this Dr. had told me if things weren't hauling balls quickly by 10 am on the 26th I'd have a c section anyway but God blessed me with a shift change & at 12 PM on the 26th, we we're rolling... I couldn't feel my legs or anything else, my best friend asked if she could peek & at some point when you're having a child, your modesty goes smooth sailing... there's at least 20 people that have looked at your goods and 10 that have touched em. The ripening to help hurt like a beast but by 2:04 PM he was finally here! The nurse was amazed I could hold my breath to ten but I was determined. I was swollen like a tank from 12 liters of fluid & the doctor compared sewing me up to upholstering a couch, my mother announced cutting the cord is NOTHING like cutting scrap book ribbon. After they'd sucked his lungs free of the meconium he'd swallowed, they handed him over to me but my arms were so weak that he just laid on my chest while I ate buffet style. That was it, he'd looked at me with all knowing eyes & in some ways, I was born that day too. It was estimated he'd be 7.14 but there he was, 8 1/2 pounds, 21 inches. It's such wonderment, your body created this, such pride in you nurtured them to completion & perfection.
